spilling everything out

i know it had been ages since i even logged in into my blog account but right now im not myself and feel like spilling everything out. i always thought that im motivated enough to just keep calm on everything but i guess i had been keeping for too long, and it had passed my enduring limit. need someone to talk to, had been trying actually but all i get was more pain. can i even can say that. anyway i guess im scared of making the same mistake that i eventually give up before i can really try. i should have think first before doing anything . now it had involved someone else and now i feel sorry for that person but there are nothing much that i could do. it end and i dont really want to remember about it. not a single thing but it hunt me for quite some time.

when im scared of making the same mistakes, what i actually do was taking the easy way out which is running away and erasing it - not that i realise what i was doing, panic attack maybe.